Blue...

Neela hai yeh ambar,
Neeli jheel aur neela paani;
               
Neeli hai tumhaari aankhen,
Neela hai in aankhon ka paani...

Samundar se gehri tumhaari aankhen,
In aankhon se kyu beh raha hai paani...?

Is samundar main pyaar bhara hai,
Wafa bhi hai; Iqraar bhi...

Is toofaan main krodh bhi hai,
Dard bhi hai, Fariyaad bhi...

Naav jho phasi hai toofaan main,
Is main manjhi ka hai dosh kyaa...?

Toot gaye hai saare bandhan,
Zamane ka woh zor thaa...

Bichad gaye do sacche premi,
Is main dilwalon ka dosh kyaa...?

Religion...

For a long time I have avoided talking or expressing my views on religion on this blog. There is a reason for it. I believe that religion is not the only element that defines a person. It is more the upbringing and the values that are inculcated within you. If your heart is in the right place, you are a good human being, it doesn’t matter what religion you follow. I prefer knowing people from what they do, and why; what do they think and how do they respond to others; rather than asking which mosque or church do they belong to.
I would prefer that people know me for the person I am, and still choose to be in my company rather than simply take a liking for an Indian in town. I would prefer to be introduced as the person I am, recognized for the work I have done, talked of for my achievements rather than being introduced by the religion I follow!
I agree that religion when practiced in the right perspective makes one a better person. But in society, it is difficult to find such a person. Personally, there are so many things lacking in myself, that to be introduced as a Muslim and to be seen as an example of what a Muslim is; is simply not fair! Look at me like a normal human being. Accept my faults as that of a mortal; praise my strengths as achievements. Accept me as a human not too different; with feelings, emotions and needs just like you; though from a different country and a different religion!
Let us all have a good friendship, beautiful memories and experiences.
If you really want to know; then I can explain by borrowing from the LifeBook of a famous friend, who once said; 'When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That, my friends, is my religion'.

Thank you all...

I am proud to say that my blog has hit 500 views! :)

Thank you all for taking the time to read, and the few who were keen to comment; it is really appreciated.

Hope to post more soon...!

So Keep looking! :)

A Brazilian Friendship

It is a strange relationship.
Is it a friendship? Is it compassion? Or just plain kind genuine courtesy and help?
It all begins on the day of joining the vessel. An Indian joining a Brazilian vessel. A non-Portuguese speaking Indian joining a non-English speaking Brazilian vessel.
All except one.
A pretty and inquisitive girl who seemed enthralled at the idea of having a chance to interact with an Indian. A blessing in disguise, she speaks good English as well!
This is how began ‘The Brazilian Friendship’.
For she was the only one I could speak to, she would be my translator when it came to communication with the Captain, when I would stare blankly at peoples faces, she would initiate a conversation in English just to keep me involved. Chipping in with information as to who was saying what, translating my chats for the others and vice-versa, I think trying to know as much as her wisdom allowed. For a while I felt as if she was the only friend I had around here; Solving my problems, registering my phone connection, and most of the times simply giving a patient ear to most of what I had to say!
This is where the interactions get complicated. Usually friendships grow in both ways… Both persons have a desire to interact with each other, share ideas, thoughts and activities… In the true meaning of the word, I wonder if we can call our relationship as a friendship! And yet she is the person closest to me on board the ship.
On introspection I feel like a parasite. For I have an imminent need of her companionship for matters as small as translating an SMS to getting word across to a co-worker trying to figure out just what is happening around me! Of course she is kind hearted and good natured enough to never complain. In fact she is gracious enough to acknowledge that if I would not talk to her, then there would be no one I could talk to! Sounds pathetic I know, But that’s the point of writing blogs and diaries… right? At times when you cannot speak your mind, you write it down! ‘Get it out of the system’ as some people call it.
I usually prefer to keep relationships in a balance. If someone does me a favour, I strive to return the same and keep a status quo at most times. It makes me feel more comfortable and free of gratitude in interactions, perhaps makes me friendlier (If I could ever be friendly!!!) [and if friendlier is ever even a word!]. The fact that I practically have no clue as to how to reciprocate to her in words and deeds makes me feel like a dim wit moron. And I am sure that it would be showing at least in part what I feel (Read: I appear to be a moron when interacting with her).
I guess this is the whole point of writing this post! ‘It’s a different culture from where you come from’ this I have heard people say! So in the culture of the place where I am, how do I respond to appear friendly, and less of a slow moving parasitic moron? Suggestions and opinions are welcome.

Before you say it; here is a footnote: I react in a way I believe to be proper, and a manner which is natural for me. However the air of discomfort at times troubles me enough to pen in my thoughts and get an outsiders opinion of it.

A Virgin in Brazil

You are a nine and twenty and yet a virgin! My boss expressed his genuine shock and surprise when he learnt this fact about me.
For many a days his remark kept me thinking... and led me to this post. What is the big deal about virginity? Is it something so cherished that a man can spend one third of his life without experiencing the joys of copulation? More than a decade of arousal awaiting the one who will bear his children?
Don't we learn in Biology that procreation is the essence of survival? For a species, for a race, for a person? As the old man said, to ensure the continuation of the family name is the pride of every father.
So, when I admit that at 29 I am still a virgin, am I not admitting my failure to fulfil that basic need and instinct of humanity? Of all the living organisms, so to say. That I spent all these years getting a better education, a better job and a better life become pointless when seen that these are the things that would essentially attract the best of the females of the species towards me. And yet, I find myself without them. Or her.
Is it an inhibition? Is it a moral obligation? Or just a mental barrier? What is it that prevents people from taking the privileges and liberties of free sex when available? I find it partial to associate it with religion. You will find the concept of meeting your life partner in a 'pure' and untouched state exists in all parts of the world... So what is it that makes some people to choose to withhold that cherished moment?
I think it is the belief that sexual union is the closest bond between two persons and when done with the right intention results in the creation of a new life. A belief that a man and woman must strive and live together, a happy family and raise a child with love and care. That the man should fend for his family and the woman be loving and caring to take away his worries.
The very fact that in the modern world these very roles have changed, The woman no longer looks after the house and the man no longer bears the entire burden of the bread. That the child is seen as an instrument that will weigh down the plans of the couple, That the woman need not be chaste and should have the liberty to choose her mate, with the experience of a few mistakes on the way. The same be for the man, to be close and intimate with many a woman before he chooses the one he wishes to live with... explains a lot that we see in the world today. To find the unit of a family crumbling, the broken homes and abandoned children. The abused and abusive teenager and the frustrated and disheartened elder.
Were we a happier species at the time when there was no electricity? When you had no option but to spend time with your family? Was that the reason why the clans and dynasties had such a strong sense of bonding and belonging amongst themselves?
It makes me wonder... And yet, those smiling faces, those big and hazel brown eyes, the attractive bodies keep tempting me. I don't know what is that single most compelling reason why I still refrain to give way.
I dont know yet, why, I still remain, A Virgin in Brazil.

Midnight @ McDonalds

Signing off from Batam, I had an overnight stay in Singapore. Then fly back home next morning. Allowing for the usual delays, I arrived at the hotel at 11 pm and checking out at 8 am.
After the boat ride, I was hoping for a snack bar at the jetty, but we had to hurry out. As a result, I arrived at the hotel with a rumbling stomach! The food courts were scraping out their last meals as I walked down the streets looking for some makkan!
I was hoping that a bucket of chicken from KFC would fill me up nicely for the night and most of the next morning flight... But I was too late and too far for that!
And thus I started my small journey from Sim Lim towers to Bugis village. The only food joint to remain open all night, McDonalds. Considering it was three quarters past eleven; all the hungry stomachs around the area gravitated towards it!
With the outside tables full, and the inner ones mostly occupied by students with books or laptops... and one with a backpacking couple from Austrailia... I made my way looking for an empty table, to find one next to an old lady with a warm wrinkled smile. As I approached the table, she helped by moving aside the coffee sugar packets, and was just at the last sip of her cup. With no one to talk to, she just bowed her heaad and closed her eyes. I asked her if she was olrite; to which she smiled, and said she comes here everyday, has a cup of coffee, and then her son picks her up to go home. She is old enough to have been young and beautiful when the British were in S'pore... and yet she is there all alone at midnight having a coffee at McDonalds! I asked her if her children will be worried, offered to call her son to take her back home, but she just smiled. Remarkably self sufficient, I saw her carrying special napkins to clean her spectacles; a mini bottle of water, tablets for sore throat and drops for her eyes... All this in a tiny little handbag! We got talking, she told me how life was during the war, the separation from Malaysia... Then her husband left her for another woman, and how she coped with 3 little kids. About her daughter in law, who doesn't like her to be around poking her nose... and she likes the time out, maintaining a delicate peace within the family... Her worries that her son is already getting old and working the odd shifts at work...
I am flattered when she shows her surprise at my age... Telling me that I still look like a young boy! She wants to know if I have children, Oh! Why I didn't get married yet? Maybe I should learn Mandarin and get a sweet Chinese wife, she says! I tell her I want someone who can cook me Indian foods, and she just laughs... Her Husband left her because she made aweful Nasi Goreng! She lost her voice, was it the emotion, or the sudden burst of laughter? I offered to buy her one more cup of coffee, but she refused... She asked me about the now filling in people, who just slept at the tables! The manager there shrugged his shoulders, saying it was space that they could do without for the night... Besides, some people looked like they wouldn't have another place to go!
I had almost finished my meal and chips... It was almost 1 am; and yet she was peacefully sitting and looking around. I asked about the time her son would pick her up... and she said it was still a long time more! I was tired from the long day, and another day traveling lay ahead... I asked her name, and she was silent for a long while... She said the children called her Ma always... and it was so long that someone had spoken her name, that she couldnt remember! It was always Ma... Ma... that the people around her used to say!

Life @ 4.0

Yes, its the latest version available only in selected stores!
Minimum system requirement is that you have to be 40.
Exclusively for the generation that took the head start in life.

Now let me explain how this software works.
It controls your life, when you hit the age of 40.

Now, Let us go back in time by 20 years. You, my prospective customer, were 20 at that time.

Your parents coughed up all their savings to get you into a degree programme, so that you could do better in life. But that was not enough. So you took out a student loan, and persued your studies. Perhaps you were inclined to do a post graduation. Finances were a consideration. You applied for a scholarship. The loan repayment plan came in and you dropped the idea in favor of a well paying job, with good prospects. You took it. It helped pay back the study loan. It was the basis of your home loan. As rents were begining to hit the roof, you figured it would be a wise investemnt. Then the Gulf war broke out. There was a Global crisis, insecurity. Your mortgage rates went up. Your savings disappeared. You were just happy you had a job!
Then you got married, and after the children, the cost of living and the loan installments you hardly had a penny left in your pocket!
Then someone told you of the fantastic investment opportunity, where you were assured high returns in a very short period of time. You couldnt resist, you needed some security for your old age. You skipped the upgrade on your car, the family vacation and put in the money. Within a year ur money was lost, things didnt happen as they had planned! Sorry.

Now your children are finishing high school. You have just barely finished paying the mortgage on your house. The next thing you worry about is your children's University fees. You dont want them to start their life taking up a student loan, and end up the way you did. Knowing how hard it is, and the sacrifices it requires!

And hence my software 'Life @ 4.0' is designed to remind you to cut down your expenses. Everytime you book a vacation, a league game ticket, or a table at a restaurant; Life @ 4.0 pops out and reminds you of the following:

Your earnings for the month from Salary.
Your earnings from 'other income' sources.
Your deductions for tax.
Your deductions for House maintainence.
Your deductions for Car loan, Insurance, and other bank liablities.
Your expenses incurred so far on other luxuries (Includes Dinners, Shopping, ect.)

Your balance left after all deductions.
No. of days before the next salary hits your account.
Amount of money you can afford to spend per day.

If the amount you are planning to spend is less than the amount you can afford to spend; then the systems gives you a green OK signal. Else a blinking red will flash asking you to abort the transaction immediately.


Do feel free to contact me for a free demo. The first 40 users will get a 40 day free trial offer.