You are a nine and twenty and yet a virgin! My boss expressed his genuine shock and surprise when he learnt this fact about me.
For many a days his remark kept me thinking... and led me to this post. What is the big deal about virginity? Is it something so cherished that a man can spend one third of his life without experiencing the joys of copulation? More than a decade of arousal awaiting the one who will bear his children?
Don't we learn in Biology that procreation is the essence of survival? For a species, for a race, for a person? As the old man said, to ensure the continuation of the family name is the pride of every father.
So, when I admit that at 29 I am still a virgin, am I not admitting my failure to fulfil that basic need and instinct of humanity? Of all the living organisms, so to say. That I spent all these years getting a better education, a better job and a better life become pointless when seen that these are the things that would essentially attract the best of the females of the species towards me. And yet, I find myself without them. Or her.
Is it an inhibition? Is it a moral obligation? Or just a mental barrier? What is it that prevents people from taking the privileges and liberties of free sex when available? I find it partial to associate it with religion. You will find the concept of meeting your life partner in a 'pure' and untouched state exists in all parts of the world... So what is it that makes some people to choose to withhold that cherished moment?
I think it is the belief that sexual union is the closest bond between two persons and when done with the right intention results in the creation of a new life. A belief that a man and woman must strive and live together, a happy family and raise a child with love and care. That the man should fend for his family and the woman be loving and caring to take away his worries.
The very fact that in the modern world these very roles have changed, The woman no longer looks after the house and the man no longer bears the entire burden of the bread. That the child is seen as an instrument that will weigh down the plans of the couple, That the woman need not be chaste and should have the liberty to choose her mate, with the experience of a few mistakes on the way. The same be for the man, to be close and intimate with many a woman before he chooses the one he wishes to live with... explains a lot that we see in the world today. To find the unit of a family crumbling, the broken homes and abandoned children. The abused and abusive teenager and the frustrated and disheartened elder.
Were we a happier species at the time when there was no electricity? When you had no option but to spend time with your family? Was that the reason why the clans and dynasties had such a strong sense of bonding and belonging amongst themselves?
It makes me wonder... And yet, those smiling faces, those big and hazel brown eyes, the attractive bodies keep tempting me. I don't know what is that single most compelling reason why I still refrain to give way.
I dont know yet, why, I still remain, A Virgin in Brazil.
